In which I pay haiku tribute to beloved TV personalities from my misspent youth.

Homophobic Landlord

Roper the landlord
avoided sex with his wife.
Assumed Jack was gay.

Stone-Aged Alienation

Tiny green Martian.
Superior intellect.
Flintstone’s nemesis

Exit, Stage Left

Mr. Snagglepuss
was a pink mountain lion
with affectations.

Junk in the Trunk

Snuffleupagus!
First, imaginary friend.
Now, very much real.

Southern Dog Blues

Huckleberry Hound
Tennessee Williams’ blue dog
loved his Clementine

Brunettes Have More Fun

Jeannie’s twin sister
identical but brunette
and much sexier

Horse Gaslights Man

To drive him insane,
Ed only spoke to Wilbur.
What a sick bastard.

Shwing! You Spoke French

Lovely Morticia
could make Gomez pitch a tent
by just speaking French

Good Strokes Bad Strokes

Watercolor by Marilyn Manson

Wealthy white bachelor
adopts two scrappy black kids.
No one asks questions?????